i pray these things never end

a few weeks ago i read and really resonated with this comic:

 

 

like, how on earth do i process the rise of fascism and also buy a $7 carton of eggs and ALSO do emails? the intensity of collapse coupled with the mundane reality of like doing my dishes at first struck me as dissonant. how can i do dishes and emails and grocery shop at a time like this?? but, then, it became its own gratitude process. may i always have dishes to do. answering my emails means people are reaching out, and we are building something together. 

 

i've been sitting, nursing this one quote of mary oliver's for all of rabbinical school, but it has been particular real companion for me these last few months. "attention is the beginning of devotion" she wrote. i think of what i want to be devoted to right now, and how i can pay attention to it. i want to be devoted to my community and my home. i want to be devoted to a world where we always have laundry and cooking to do, where things are worth being tended to. where we are in this project of loving one another for the long haul. the oligarchs and the fascists want our gaze to be so narrow, to eschew any devotion they cannot control. single use, short form videos - grab it and then throw it out. but we, i think, want things to grow and wash and mend. 

i wrote this poem a few months ago, after the election. i think i had a little premonition of what kind of reminders i'd need right now. sometimes, it's nice when that happens. 

may you always have laundry to do, hot water to wash in, and a beloved body to clothe. may we pay attention to the things that are endless cycles because while they turn we are alive, and we love each other. 

 

inspired by eli, eli by hannah senesh

 

i was never taught that 

still, while empires fell 

people washed their dishes, brought 

clothes to the stream 

holiness steaming off us 

from the pot 

the washing machine 

dishes soaking in the sink

i used to struggle with these chores

frustrated that as soon as 

i did them 

i’d have to do them again 

what does g!d have in common with laundry?

ain sof

there is no end, always laundry 

always G1d

we pray today

tomorrow,

and the next 

malbish arumim

clothing one another in

an infinite chain of laundry

eli, eli

i pray these things never end

the heat of the water 

the rush of the soap

the prayer of man